Filter Your Filters by PS Rathore

Filter Your Filters by PS Rathore

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Barack Obama




Once I did a seminar for the family of an industrialist. After the seminar, I shared my observations
regarding their employees. I said that there was a lot of respect in the eyes of every family member for the people working for them. The Chairman of the company replied immediately, “If you want to grow, you have to give respect.” This is the secret of their success.

Many a times our self condemnation stops us from taking actions. Sometimes our technique of asking questions creates hindrances in our life. We all know that the quality of life is nothing but the quality of questions that we ask to ourselves and others. The message of communication should teach us how to communicate with others. If you and I want to communicate internally with a positive frame of mind, then we must know the technique of filtering our negative perceptions. Then only can we communicate with ourselves. We know that we need to communicate with ourselves first and then we communicate with the world.

Right hand little finger—Let us position 100% irrelevant facts on the little finger of the right hand. These are those facts that do not exist in reality, but we have accepted them as a matter of fact and our life is governed by them. It means we are governed by our self created world of limitations and constraints. These limitations stop us from moving forward and, furthermore, sabotage our success. Now whenever a situation comes, then concentrate it on the little finger of your left hand. If your perception is not filtered properly, then it will not allow you to move forward, rather it will create an avenue to move away. Unless we stop  generalising, deleting, and distorting the meaning of an event, any happening won’t be providing a new possibility.

You can refer to the following references:

100% bluff—Sometimes we say that kids today have no manners. By making this statement, we create an emotion which is negative. With the sound of this statement, our physiology goes down. Our behaviour gets affected. At this moment, ask yourself by raising little finger of left hand—is it really 100%? An answer from your subconscious will come, i.e., “No”. It is not 100%, rather we have made it 100% as a result of our own perceptions.

 

Suppose you are moving in your car and suddenly a rickshaw puller comes in front. Within a fraction of moment you exclaim, “You all Biharis have no sense.” Again you say, “Oh Bihari get lost.” Here you are creating an identity about the people of Bihar. You are creating a bluff as if every person from Bihar is a rickshaw puller.

It is not at all the reality. Do you think it is reality? No. Now next time, in case you go to meet an IAS officer and you find he is from Bihar, it is needless to say that you will not be able to develop a positive rapport with him.

Poor image about Biharis will not allow you to be natural and your communication process will be incomplete. Now concentrate on the little finger of your left hand  and ask yourself, “Are all Biharis rickshaw pullers?” You will get the answer from your subconscious mind. “No. This is not the reality.” Remember, every event is a single event. Map is not the territory. Even behaviour of a single person changes with the passage of time. As we know there is an old saying “time and tide changes every moment”.

 

Similarly, you may believe that all secretaries have affairs with their bosses or seniors. So whichever office you go to, you will assume that there also secretaries and their bosses are having affairs. You will start matching their relationship wherever you go. You will focus on their age, on their looks and so on. You will forget your basic job for which you went there. Your attention will be diverted to some other direction which is, of course, not relevant to you

Again, many women say, “All men are crooked”. In my seminar, I asked a girl what her idea about her father was. She could not say anything. At this point of time, you ask the little finger of your left hand is it really 100% true, you will get the answer, “No”. In fact, you are making a lie or simply perception to 100% truth. And you will notice that your emotions are not in control

 

You suffer from pain, and you make your assumptions in poor state, because of your own belief system. I can bet it never exists in reality. If you make full truth from half truth or no truth, you start believing your doubt and doubting your belief. This kills your way of life and shapes your behaviour that stops you from taking actions. Again, some bosses say that their subordinates never work.

They should ask themselves, “Really?” The answer of this question will be “No.” By doing this, they will feel ecstatic. And they will realise that not all subordinates are lazy, rather most of them work hard and are responsible for making them the boss. Most people say that all politicians are useless. Remember this will not allow you to grow and respect your country. I found in India that most of the people hate politics but they always talk about politics.

 

We know about the behaviour of a person in a  particular context and we judge him from that instance.

Remember, a person’s behaviour is contextual and it changes as the context changes.