All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered,the point is to discover them.
Galileo Galilee
Sometimes in seminars, participants ask whether I can change the nature of a person. I answer, with due respect, “Yes! Everybody changes. Everybody wants to acquire new behaviour. Tell me, don’t you change immediately when somebody very close to you dies? Don’t you start living in their absence? Can you break up your love affair in a planned way?” Life is not always a win-win situation, rather sometimes it is either winning or losing. Life is a journey. It teaches everything in process if somebody understands the meaning of emotional actions. Those who understand emotional actions go on top and those who do not remain at the same place. I went to Dehradun to write this book Discover the Power Within, which you are reading. I was there about six years earlier also, to write a book on cost management and accounts. To my surprise, I saw the same faces at the grocery shop, medical store, stationary shop, and people at the reception of the hotel.
Do you know why they were there? Because they never thought beyond their situation ever in their life. They were busy in thinking about the weaknesses and strengths of the same point and area. They could not think beyond their present periphery. Yes, change happens when you have a burning desire to change and passion
and power to take massive actions. This is also known as the killer instinct in the sports world. Of course, change does not happen if it is just a mere wish. I will tell you a story about a Greek philosopher called Socrates. He was good looking, intelligent, and smart and very popular in his society. One day a young man
came to him and asked, “Can you exchange your luck with me for a couple of days?” Socrates said, “Yes, I can exchange my luck with you. But for that you have to go to the other side of the river.” The young man agreed.
Both of them started crossing the river. Suddenly, Socrates started drowning him in the river. The young man put all his efforts just to survive. Then Socrates asked, “Have you ever tried getting anything done like this, with so much force? If you do that, you will be as good as I am.” The gist is, we have to undertake vigorous
action. To achieve the next level of your life, you have to move, and movement will give you the power and
energy. The choice is yours, where you want to go. Change is bound to happen. Focus on what you want to get, do not focus on what you do not want to get. Most of the time we never understand the thought process of an individual. And, therefore, our communication remains incomplete. If you are visual but another person is feeling-oriented, you would like to see whereas he would like to feel. Unless one of the person changes, rapport cannot be established. Either one person has to be feeling-oriented or the other person has
to be visual-oriented. We have different reasons to do a particular task.
Everything we do is for a reason. Even a thief has reasons to steal and a sage has reasons to be a saint. It can be a valid or absurd reason. It can be a mental sickness also. Sometimes our own people betray us and an absolutely unknown person comes to help us. If we change our physiology, we also change our
emotions attached to the event immediately. If any individual practises the primary pattern of a particular
representation, then he immediately becomes the person of the same representation. But it does not happen overnight. You have to condition yourself again and again until it becomes a part of your incredible human software. And you have to do this happily because it is your choice, it is your decision. Yes, you will be disturbed when the rate of growth is not same as you expected. But remember, the society has its own rules, like nature has its own rules. Human behaviour too has its rules. Good things always take time. We all have to go through pain happily. Have you seen the face of a mother who has just delivered a baby? Before giving birth to her child she endures immense pain. But you will never find her complaining about the pain.
You have to pretend then only you can become what you desire. We all know the famous story of Chandragupta. He was pretending to be a king and Vishnugupta Chanakya saw him and that is how he was
selected to be a king. You never know when somebody from the cosmic energy may be looking at you and what role you can play on the stage of this universe. It is an old saying in India that never think that nobody is listening, even walls have ears. As Shakespeare said, the world is a stage where everybody has to play his own designated role. Those who
concentrate on the present absolutely 100% move to the next level of life.
My father always used to say that if you pretend what you want to be, then one day you will become that. He used to quote a reference of Valmiki that he never knew how to say Ram-Ram (Oh! God Oh! God) and he used to say just the opposite of it Mara Mara (death, death). But forget about the word, focus on the optimism. Valmiki wrote the great epic, Ramayana, which has become the yardstick to judge science, art, and culture. Even contemporary science is not developed as much as what he had envisaged. Lord Rama is known as the perfect husband, perfect father, perfect king, and perfect in all roles. Of course, here again it is an individual’s attitude which decides whether Lord Rama was prefect or not. Those who are feeling oriented will say he was auditory so he left his wife. Not only this, a feeling-oriented person will feel according to the context. I am quoting this example because I want to repeat again and again that we have to change ourselves to be with the ones we love. Even the great philosophers—Socrates, Pluto, Aristotle—said that
change happens from within. If you want to lead, you have to learn to be a follower. In one of the seminars I said, “if you change your physiology and pretend to be somebody else, then gradually you will go into that representation format.”
Nothing in this nature is constant. Change is the only constant factor in life. If you don’t change you will not exist. The dinosaurs could not survive because they did not change. We all know that dinosaurs were the
strongest species. Every individual has its own representation system and if you want to enter his kingdom, then you have to understand his mind frame. If you want to develop a good rapport with a person, it means you are asking his consent to enter his world. And in his kingdom you cannot enter with your own rules. There you have to follow everything as per his rules. What happens if some guest comes to your house and does everything just opposite of your family rules? How long can you get along with this person? Not for a very long time. Why are so many divorces taking place today? It is because an individual wants to remain an individual only. It is sad to say that modern society has convinced itself by saying that there must be space for everybody. Therefore, if your wife is visual, you pretend to be visual; if your wife is feeling-oriented, pretend to be feeling-oriented; if your wife is audio-oriented, then you should be audio oriented. Never be in audio-mode when somebody is in visual mode. Because it irritates him. One of my friends asked me how hi s w i f e look liked. I asked, “If I say she does not look good will you leave her?” My friend was primarily an audio-oriented person, so he wanted to listen to others about his wife.
Many people just ask to listen with no intentions. Yes, sometimes we ask questions which have no meaning. We should stop asking these kinds of questions. We are governed by internal references, but only with regard to external references. Even in Mahabharata, when Draupadi opens her hair to excite Pandavas to go into war, Lord Krishna says, “Draupadi, if peace happens even at the cost of you leaving your hair open it is a good deal.” He emphasized that for peace any price can be given. At this point Lord Krishna was a governed by feeling mode and external references.
After this in next post by PS Rathore
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