Let’s Understand Our Communication Patterns and Nervous System Scientifically

Muscles

Our bones and joints are covered with muscles. Muscles form 50% of our body weight and work collectively. Muscles are of two types:

• Voluntary

External change is not possible unless an internal change is done.

•    Non-voluntary

(i)   The voluntary muscles move as per our desires and our commands. They wait for commands from the nervous system. These muscles are found in hands, legs, stomach, head, mouth, cheeks, etc.

(ii)   Non-voluntary muscles are found in eye balls, pupils, blood veins, food pipe and heart.

We will discuss about non-voluntary muscles in detail in the chapter “Catch the Liars”.

Our eye has a retina. The retina is like a reel on which the picture is taken. The lens in the eyes takes the picture. This picture is always opposite. After the picture has been taken, it is the job of the nervous system to develop this picture and give meaning to it. This is the place where we can change the meaning and frame according to our desire. It is true that most of the people limit themselves by generalising the event, sometimes they never allow lenses to take the picture, they distort the meaning, and finally they delete it from the reel. By doing this, they reject an opportunity.

In the above generalisation, distortion, and deletion are done on the basis of the filters that we create in our

nervous system. These filters are our own language, our own sounds, our own past experiences, and our own perceptions about events and happenings, our past belief about the pattern of happenings, and our past attitudes about events.

An event has no meaning except the meaning we give to it. If we use our filters in a better way, then we can reach the zenith without any doubt. In fact, our filters create the internal presentation of the event and hence our state is created, subsequently physiology takes place. Our world is framed and then our internal and external world is created. This world helps us create our behaviour.

In our life we can do everything if we follow the scientific pattern of thinking and doing. We must know how to use our brain cells. We don’t get tired because we are actually tired but because of our pattern of thinking. It is because of the pattern of filters that we use.

The pattern of the state makes the pattern of the world. And subsequently the pattern of the world creates our behaviour.

Hope is the first thing to take some sort of action.

 John Armstrong

I do my corporate programmes for 14 to 15 hours continuously and nobody gets tired. In one of my open house programme “Discover the Power Within” at Hotel Taj Mansingh, New Delhi, a very enthusiastic participant came

up to me the next day and said, “I danced the whole day. I attended the whole programme. I did firewalk almost 18 feet long and then went to office in the night for work after 15 hours of programme.” He went back home and the next day he came on time and rocked the seminar with a lot of ecstasy and playfulness again.

Fatigue is a state of mind.
According to Shiv Sutra our
brain is divided into two parts,
right  and  left.  The  right
part constructs and left part
maintains. Right brain imagines
and left brain provides reference
points.  Reference  is  like  a
support  system.  Similarly,
moving the eyes in the right
direction  focus  something
which  does  not  exist  and
moving them towards the left
shifts our focus to something
which does exist.
The communication system
of  Ratan  Tata  is  clear.  He
generally  looks  ahead  with
his  eyes  towards  the  right
direction.  Look  at  him,  he
looks  pretty  young.  He  does

not have time to think about anything which is not productive. Ratan Tata is also known for his vision. We must know how to change ourself with experiences and perceptions for breaking our limiting behaviour.

KNOW YOUR MIND

In this chapter I will explain: How does our nervous system work? How are the nerves responsible for our behaviour?  How  is  our  behaviour  shaped  as  per  the meaning  that  we  give  to  an  event?  An  event  has  no

meaning except the meaning that we give to it.

By changing the picture of the event, by changing the sound of the event, by changing the feeling of the event we can change the entire meaning of the event. Framing of an event means we provide a guide to the event, it provides a limit. Whatever we see, feel, and hear is anchored in our mind and body. Whenever we wish to see, listen, and feel to change our old patterns we can always get the new patterns. It would be very easy in case you are in a peak state. For example, if you met with an accident and you narrowly escaped, you will always remember that spot whenever you pass through that site. It will get anchored in your mind, body, and emotions very intensively.

Our entire communication system is based on our state of mind and reflection of brain cells. No event has any meaning except the meaning that we give to it. In my firewalk seminar I always say that firewalk has no meaning except what we give to it actually. For some people it can be fun. Even in some parts of India walking on fire is done as a religious ritual. Once I was doing my firewalk seminar at Ghatshilla, near Jamshedpur, for the executives of Hindustan Copper Limited and on the same day it was done as a religious ritual too. Next day in all the leading newspapers both the news were covered. But the meanings to both were entirely different. Both the

An event has no meaning except the meaning that we give to it.

Know your mind       15

news came also on the television channels, but meanings given to them here also were altogether different.

People, before attending the seminar, had a different thought process and vision towards their goals. After the

seminar their approach towards their goals becomes totally different. This was absolutely corporate related and fire had actually become the anchor for shaping their future behaviour and a source of power to meet the high level of commitments.

		DELETE
		DISTORT	±
		GENERALIZE
INTERNAL
		FILTERS		EXTERNAL
REPRESENTATION				±
^
±			±	EVENT
±
STATE
±
±			Words Be-
Physiolog
			haviour

Neuro Communication Model

16      Discover the power within

Neurology is like a juke box. Everything gets planted and embedded in our brain cells. Even if we have anchored something wrong in our brain, then we can re-programme it by creating an internal talk and creating a new presentation of the event in a completely new frame. If the picture is changed, sound is changed, the feeling will automatically change.

Once, my father was involved in a legal fight with his sister’s husband. Fortunately, one day his sister’s husband called me over to his house. He showered all his love, affection, and was courteous to me. I told this to my father. Next day my father’s behaviour towards him changed and both the parties reached to an amicable settlement. So it is clear that if we change the picture, sound, and tone, then its meaning gets changed.

External change is not possible unless an internal change is done. There are techniques and tools to make internal changes. If we change the sub-modalities of the event, then the meaning of the event also gets changed.

Empowering Belief

 Empowering Belief







Belief needs references. References support our belief. If we have more references, then our belief will be stronger. In my seminar people come and say that they are unhappy with their looks, they are fat, or very thin. They are not satisfied with their physical appearance. I tell them that they must be facing rejection not because of their looks but because their belief. Instead of challenging your limiting belief, you support it. The individual SWOT analysis helps you to create references. To excel, many a times we have to take the help of imaginary references also.



The first step towards success is self-belief. Roger Bannister had once dreamt that he could run a mile in four minutes and he actually did so in 1954. It was his imaginary reference. He dreamt to make it and
finally he did that. The four minute barrier has since been broken by many male athletes. Now this has become a standard for all professional middle distance runners. In last 50 years, the mile record has been lowered by almost 17 seconds.

If you do not create belief in yourself, then people are there to destroy your belief. Once there was a farmer who decided to go to the neighbouring village for some work. He took his calf along with him. After having walked for long, he thought that the calf would have got tired. So he lifted the calf and put it on his shoulders. A group of thugs watched him doing this and decided to dupe him into giving away his calf. One of the thugs stopped him and said, “Why are you carrying the dog on your shoulders.” The farmer replied, “It is a calf”. After some distance again some another thug from the same group approached him and asked the same question. This time the farmer became confused and kept the calf on the ground and looked at it and said that it is a calf. The other thugs also asked him the same question. They knew that this farmer did not trust himself. They knew that his trust could be easily altered. The farmer was, of course, showing his faith in himself but it was not complete. When everybody said that he was carrying a dog, he got convinced that he was carrying a dog and left the calf in the forest and ran away.

You cannot blame others. Ultimately it is you who has to trust yourself. If you trust yourself then even the Almighty will come to help you. For grabbing any opportunity, you need to sharpen your tools inspite of no visible opportunity. If your tools are sharpened, then only can you grab opportunities whenever they come in your way. Let me tell you the story of Lord Shiva.
Once Lord Shiva had announced that there will be drought on earth for a long time. Rain used to come on earth when Lord Shiva would blow the shankh (conch shell). As there was no rain, all the creatures were dying for a single drop of water. One day Lord Shiva himself descended on earth in disguise to see the situation for himself. There he saw that a farmer was ploughing his fields even though the land was completely dry. The oxen were not able to move properly. Seeing this, Lord Shiva stopped and asked the farmer why he was ploughing the fields when he knew that there will be no rain for the whole year. The farmer replied, “We must be consistent with our work, duty, and accountability. Yes, I know there will not be any rain, but in case I am not in practise, then when the opportunity comes I will not be able to grab it. This is the time when I can make my hands and heart stronger. Moreover, if I do not practice, I may forget it.” Lord Shiva was astonished to see the importance of uninterrupted practice. He thought, in case he himself forgets how to blow the shankh, then there would be no rain ever. Lord Shiva then went back to his abode and told Parvati, his wife, everything. He decided to blow the shankh, just for practice, so that he may not forget how to blow it. Once he did that, it started raining on earth.

Most management gurus believe that corporate houses should also continue honing their skills so as to increase production, profit, and enhance customer satisfaction. If anybody follows the following keys to success, then definitely they will attain success:

1. Get started

2. Start with the available resources

3. Challenge the challenges

4. Balance your resources for strategic decisions

Exercise
Q1. One professional work that you follow consistently,
with full concentration.
………………………………………………………………….
………………………………………………………………….
Q2. What are your most precious resources?
………………………………………………………………….
………………………………………………………………….
Q3. How and why do you consider them to be most
precious?
………………………………………………………………….
………………………………………………………………….
Q4. Write down one strength of yours which you used
to consider your weakness earlier.
………………………………………………………………….
………………………………………………………………….

A DATE WITH DESTINY

A DATE WITH DESTINY

Control your destiny or somebody else will.

Jack Welch

In my firewalk seminars I always tell people that walking on fire is nothing but a date with their destiny. Once
you start trusting your power which is hidden inside you, you can do miracles. You must know: Who are you? What are you doing? And for whom are you doing? If you do not believe who you are, then people around you will make you believe what they want. Once you have trust and conviction in yourself, you can win every battle in your life. Your destiny can be shaped in the moment of your decision, nothing can stop you.

Once I had finished my firewalk seminar and gave my last media interview to CNN IBN television channel.
The moment the media and participants moved out, I collapsed. I was hospitalized. Here I am sharing the most painful and intimate part of my life and miracle of keeping belief in myself. I have a business line of academic institution. This entire business was controlled by six persons. I had authorized them to take all decisions. When I had recruited them for teaching in my institute, most of them had a marginal income per month. Their survival was difficult, their family was under poverty line. Rathore foundation had made them to grow upto few lakh rupees per month. But then I came to know that the institute has suffered a huge loss. I was surprised to hear this. My only mistake was that I trusted these people completely and gave them absolute freedom to manage the business. My humble suggestion to readers of this book is to make a proper reporting system in your organization, no matter how close the persons working there are with you.

I was on the verge of bankruptcy. All the telephones were disconnected. Water supply was also stopped. Every day I was getting reminders for payment of electricity bills. The cheque of my daughter’s school fee had been dishonoured. She came up to me with the cheque and said that the cheque had bounced because of insufficient funds in my account. I had a car, but no money for petrol, even my daily meals were with borrowed money. Yah! My office was mortgaged for making payment of salaries to employees. All my competitors had already declared that “Rathore has gone bankrupt”. Friends had stopped calling me. The worst was when I used to call them—they did not pick up the phone. It was very hurtful. Even if I went to their office, they avoided to meet me, making excuses of busy schedule or that they were in a meeting. But as I was in motivation business, I used all the techniques on myself and it worked. I was not broken from my mind, my mind was still working and I knew things will change soon.

When I was in the hospital, my wife saw my so called trusted managers in office. They were having a meeting
in my office, using my resources, my staff to dump me. This is what the Hindi saying says, malik ka juta malik ke sar (owner’s shoes on owner head). My wife came to me in the hospital and explained everything. My competitors started spreading wrong information that my institute would close down in two weeks. Those people of mine were also planning to open their own institute. They were evaluating the legal implications of using the same brand name “Rathore Institute Pvt. Ltd.” This entire issue was unbearable to me both financially and emotionally. One of those who had conspired against me was very close to my heart. His actions were quite astonishing and unimaginable. He was very close to me. He knew what could I think and how I would think. He knew that I was in a bad state financially. He was thought that it was the right time to dump me. But at the same time he used to come to hospital to show sympathy.

Whatever information he gathered, he used to brief the status to the managers. These people took away my institutes employees and had kept them at their newly hired office. My mistake was that I could not come to know all this earlier as I was busy in my motivational lecture business. That was toughest time I ever saw, not because of loss of money, but because of the emotional loss. I wondered how could a person conspire and plan to dump a person who did everything for them. I recalled how I helped him to search for doctors when he was suffering from TB. But I did not lose my cool and decided to keep myself in control.

I told my wife, “Look, I am now aware of their bad intentions and know that they are pretending to be
concerned with me.” Almighty God was with me. They fought among themselves over the issue of who would control the new business. Everybody wanted to be the boss, everybody wanted to be the Chairman of company. Hence they decided to postpone their plans for a year and the timeperiod of one year was good enough for me to recover my business. I thanked God. In fact, I was buying time and controlling my anger, hurt, disappointment, frustration and uncertainty about the future. I was not being used by my emotional threshold, rather I was using my emotions to grow.

I knew that it is not the event but the meaning given by me to the event which will control my life. Now I can shape my destiny the way I want. After this incident, I started giving more time to my academic business and became more serious about it. Now I have learned to balance my institute as well as my profession of a motivational speaker. I had read that Rajiv Chandrasekhar of BPLmobile had converted a loss making business to a profit making one. I believed that if he could do it, then I could also do it.

The Institute of Chartered Accountants had introduced a new subject “strategic management”. To penetrate the market, I decided to teach that subject free of cost and to complete the course in six days. Each day there would be a six-hour class. The same subject was being taught by others in four months, with fees of Rs
5000.

I had taught in my corporate strategic seminar about BPR (Business Process Re-engineering) and Michel Porter’s Generic Strategic Alternative to Succeed. I was using the same models in my own life. According to these models, if you bring a unique product at a competitive price, youcan be the market leader. My product was unique as the course was for only six days and it followed cost leadership. After announcing my class, I went to Mumbai for a seminar. When I returned, my flight landed Delhi at 2 o’clock in the night. The very next day was the class of the new programme. I was not expecting a good response as I had been away from this market for a long time.

When I reached the venue of the class, what I saw was unbelievable. I saw almost 20 PCR police van, the traffic was creeping at a snail’s pace. There was bumper-tobumper traffic and a big traffic jam. About 500 students were inside the institute and almost 2000 were on the street, running here and there trying to get and entry to the class. Many policemen were trying to manage the crowd. Almost all the residents of the area had come out on the streets to watch what was going on. When I got down from my car, everybody rushed towards me and expressed their desire to attend my class. That was really the happiest moment of my life and one of the greatest comebacks in the history of academic world. I thanked the Almighty God, the Creator, and the Hanuman mandir at ISBT Delhi where this idea had first come to my mind.

After two hours, when I went inside the hall, I could sense the mental condition of the students. The hall was
as hot as a furnace because of the presence of so many people. However, the lecture was cancelled as it was difficult to accommodate so many people and there was interference from the police. Subsequently, I booked a much larger auditorium and started taking classes there, of course with minimum fees. My all financial problems were solved. In one day I had become a rich man, with no financial difficulties. The most important point was that in six days all existing competitors were out of business. A new entrant had abolished them. It looked unbelievable, but fact is that most teachers who had been teaching strategic management had left teaching or theyhad started teaching other subjects. My deepest thanks and gratitude to Michael Porter whose method I used to eliminate competitors.

This particular incident gave me a lot in my personal life as well. My wife, who used to stay at home, decided to join my business. At present, she is the Professor of Management Accounting and controls my six business centres. I really feel very happy when I see her busy, helping me.Now I did not need the people who had conspired against me. Once again I was the leader in my business. But I did not ask them to go. I was still helping them, but did not give full control . Now they were only like any other faculty—come, teach, and go; no decision making powers. All these powers had shifted to my wife. One by one they started to leave from my organization, and that is what I wanted. If all of them have gone together, it would have been a great loss to me. I created a situation to get them to leave one by one. After all, I was running the business and they had helped me not to become an emotional fool. They had helped me to be practical and run the business with my mind rather my heart.Now I use a combination of both heart and mind. If somebody ditches me, it does not hurt me—I take it as one more experience. I thank them for teaching me how to do business and respect the suggestions of my wife, which I always used to ignore earlier. She got all her happiness out of this issue and her talent as leader and controller came up. God alone knows what he has
hidden and where. We just need the reference.