DECODE THE CODE OF OTHERS BY PS RATHORE

DECODE THE CODE OF OTHERS BY PS RATHORE



All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered,the point is to discover them.
 Galileo Galilee



Once I was conducting a seminar. It was 2 o’ clock in the night. A participant asked me, “How can I
recover dues from customers? I cannot be arrogant because after all he is our buyer.” For a moment I was stuck but then told him, “You know the present century is a century of networking and rapport.” Then, I shared this story with everyone.
This is a simple story of a responsible ant. Once an ant got a piece of grain. The ant was happy. When the ant was crossing a log of wood along with other ants, the grain got stuck in the wood. The ant requested all the members of her family to help her get back that grain. But nobody responded well. The ant was left all alone. Nobody bothered to listen to her.
Everyone asked her to just forget it and move forward. But the ant did not give up. It went to a woodpecker and said, “Please cut the wood and get me back the grain.” The woodpecker laughed and said he had no time to do this silly thing. He said, “I do not have time to waste for such a tiny thing.” Then the ant went to the police and said, “Please tell the woodpecker to cut the wood and get me back my grain. I had gone to the him, but he refused to help me. Please punish the woodpecker and then only he will do the needful.” The policeman laughed and said, “We have a lot of other better things to do.” Then the ant went to the Chief Minister and said, “I had gone to the woodpecker, but he turned down my request. I went to the policeman and he too turned down my request. Now you please order the policeman to take necessary action, so that he will issue orders to the woodpecker to cut the wood and take my grain out.” But, unfortunately, the Chief Minister also did not do anything.
Now the ant went to the King and said, “I had gone to the woodpecker, the policeman, and the Chief Minister. Everybody turned down my request. Now please instruct the Chief Minister to direct the police for proper action, so that I get my grain back.”

The King was very impressed. He understood the pain of the ant. The King knew how to respect resources. He ordered the Chief Minister to ensure that the ant got her grain back. Unlike this, many a times we do not respect our own resources. We either reject or neglect them. If you do not have a sense of ownership, then how can you be the owner? Most of the time we do not care about our existing resources. We do not use them at optimum level. Naturally, the returns on our resources do not match with the expectations. Let us

understand this story. There were two friends working for a corporation. After some years, one of the friends became the Director of that corporation. One day the other friend asked him that how he felt now since he has finally become the Director. The friend replied politely, “Look, I was the Director earlier also, today just a formality has been done. I always considered this corporation as my own. I gave my everything to this company. Today I am happy that the corporation has recognized my efforts.”

When the ant requested the king, at that moment both of them were working for their resources. The ant had a small resource and the king had a big resource. But both of them had resources. The state of both of them was the same, feelings of both of them were the same. They could understand each other because the state of mind of both were the same. Therefore, it is clear that a person can understand others better if his state is also the same. But one thing is clear, before talking we must know what to talk and whom to talk with. Different people have different representational systems. If we do not bring flexibility, we cannot make a long-term impact on the subconscious mind. In fact, every person has all three representations— visual, audio and feeling. But it has been observed that, primarily, one of the feature is predominant. If that feature is caught then, we can make rapport at subconscious level also. A study shows that almost 35%

people in the world are primarily visual-oriented, 40% feeling-oriented and the remaining audio-oriented.

Therefore, before we enter into any communication, we must give a thought about the primary representation
of the individual.

Understanding of an individual’s representation system must be clear, otherwise our communication will not be possible—our communication will always be incomplete and our relationship will fumble. Many times you can find a boss scolding an employee for not doing his work properly. Both the boss and his subordinate are not able to deliver the required results to each other because they do not understand each other, they do not know what is their primary representation system. The primary representation of both of them does not match. Now, if I am the boss and if I want to get results, I will try to know the person I have to communicate with and the primary representation of that person. If I do not know the representational system of an

individual, and our representational system does not match, then in that situation I will not be able to get the work done. Suppose I am a visual but my subordinate is auditory, she would love to tell me stories
and if I do not hear her, she will not be comfortable with me.

On the same pattern, if I am a visual and my subordinate is visual then I will get along very well with her. I would like to see the result and my subordinate would like to perform. The worst communication is between a feeling-oriented husband and a visual-oriented wife. The husband will buy flowers with emotions, love, and affection for his wife. He will feel every moment of his journey home. But his wife, being a visual, will look at the flowers and will ask questions. From where did you buy these flowers? How much money did you pay? Now, needless to explain, the respect of his emotion. It is basically because they don’t understand their individual behavioural pattern. They have to accept each other without any condition and they have to respect the primary representation of each other.

By PS Rathore