How to Use Match–Mirror Technique

Whenever you sit along with somebody, try to move your body the way the person is moving. If he takes his hand in the air, you take your hand also slowly in the air. It sounds funny, but it works. It gives you power.

Let me tell you, in the Army, if a commander raises his hand and shouts to move fast, but if soldiers do not shout at the same level, they cannot produce the same result together. If one of the lovers expresses love, but the other one is not that good at expressing his feeling, can they be in a relationship for long? Therefore, it is clear that if the physiology is moving in the same direction, then the soul will also move in the same direction.

If the person sits with his legs crossed, then you should also do the same naturally. In case he is too senior, then you can just sit with your feet crossed. In fact, if a person sits with one foot on top of something and another foot on the floor, then you should always make sure that your one leg is in the air because on his one leg the gravitation of sky works whereas on the other leg gravitation of earth works.

Even on earth you can experience the gravitation of sky. In water the gravitation of sky works. Almost 70% of our body weight is made of water, therefore the movement of the body is controlled by sky. The gravitation of sky starts hitting the moment any part of body is in air. If somebody blinks his eyes, you simply move your finger. Your physiology must match with the physiology of others. Now once you have mastered the physiological matching, then you learn to match your tone also. In this process you should take care about the pitch, modulation, resonance, etc. Many a times my wife used to ask me something in a loud and shrill tone, “Do you want to have food?” I used to say, “Is this the way to ask?” Then she used to say in a normal tone,“What did I say, I just asked would you have food?” Words remain the same but the pitch makes a difference. As in the current market situation, most of the work is done on phone and here only the tone of your voice makes the difference. Most of these things you do subconsciously, but I want you

to do them consciously. It is just a thought process.

Every day I meet hundreds of people. My tone and pitch changes from person to person. If somebody talks to me slowly, I talk slowly. If somebody talks to me at a high pitch, I talk at a high pitch. This is auto planted. Now I do not have to change knowingly. In my seminars, I keep talking at different tones, at different pitches, and at different frequencies so as to match each and every person in the auditorium. A study shows that 7% of our communication system consists of words, that too if words are selected properly, 56% is physiology, and 37% tonality. Once, after one of my television appearances, when I came out, one of my friends pointed at a girl and asked me if I could develop a rapport with her. I did matching and mirroring by using the science of physiology for five minutes. After this, the girl came forward and said, “Hi Rathore, I have seen you on television.” It was great. I request all of you to please follow this practice. It is going to help you in your personal as well as in professional life.

At one time you can understand the representation of at least 1000 people. If you practise this for seven days, you will experience that everybody likes you. Everybody will like to help you. Once I met a gentleman Rajiv Jaideva from MMTC. He introduced me to Shri Amrendra Mahapatra, then Director Personnel of MMTC. This gentleman called up almost all the directors of PSUs to help me. This moment was my rebirth in the corporate world. Let me tell you, I practised this skill and it works wonderfully.

You have to bring a change from inside. Even the strongest species like dinosaurs could not survive just because they could not adapt to change. So we have to undergo a minute change. Your boss will not change, you have to change. Now-a-days even a peon will not give you a cup of tea if you do not change according to him. Believe me. You have to change your nature according to the situation. Change should be within you, according to the respective situation. Change is not permanent, change is always for a change.

Generally, when you talk to your spouse, your thinking pattern is different. If you talk to a child, your thinking pattern is different. If you talk to your boss, your thinking pattern is again different. If you talk to your subordinate, your thinking pattern is different. Let me tell you, all these changes that you are making without noticing are controlled by your subconscious mind.

Once, in one of my seminars, there was a participant who said “I don’t like my wife because she does not obey me.” I simply asked him, “Does your son or daughter obey

you?” He said, ”No.” Do you also become angry in a similar fashion with your child, with your boss, or with any powerful person in the society? Certainly not. It means you are being a hypocrite. What I want to say is, use this in a more positive frame.

I cannot stop myself from saying how Mr Sunil Mittal changed according to the culture, community and requirement of the country. Today, Airtel has a huge network, with presence in nearly every major city. The market capitalisation is almost 76,000 crore. Mittal brothers own nearly 32% of

the shares in the company. If we talk about the success story of Sunil Mittal, he himself accepted that he started as a small player in terms of mission, vision, and objectives. He sold his bicycle parts business and went to Mumbai for trading in steel sheets. When he reached Mumbai, he realised that he was a natural salesman and this skill had the biggest contribution in his success. His reframing skill is known to the world. He always thought from

others’ perspective and not from self rigidity. The biggest example is the name of the company. He had kept the name of a generator business “Mit bru” for import. It sounds like a Japanese name but it is nothing but Mittal Brothers. Once I read Sunil Mittal’s interview in the Hindustan Times. He said, “I always focus on the fact that we are able to create one of the world’s top mobile telephone companies in the space of a decade. It can be done without cheating anyone or breaking any laws. So I will encourage more and more people to come and do this.” People like Sunil Mittal, Ratan Tata, and Narayana Murthy truly care about others and think from others’ point of view.

Once I was watching on CNBC an interview of Narayana Murthy. He said, “if your kid troubles you in the bathtub it does not mean you will leave the baby in the bathtub.” Again he said, “Yes, if somebody betrays me it hurts, but still you cannot leave everybody. We have to watch others. From the point of view of others, we have to change ourselves.”