FILTER YOUR FILTERS

Suppose you are moving in your car and suddenly a rickshaw puller comes in front. Within a fraction of moment you exclaim, “You all Biharis have no sense.” Again you say, “Oh Bihari get lost.” Here you are creating an identity about the people of Bihar. You are creating a bluff as if every person from Bihar is a rickshaw puller. It is not at all the reality. Do you think it is reality? No. Now next time, in case you go to meet an IAS officer and you find he is from Bihar, it is needless to say that you will not be able to develop a positive rapport with him. Poor image about Biharis will not allow you to be natural and your communication process will be incomplete.

Now concentrate on the little finger of your left hand and ask yourself, “Are all Biharis rickshaw pullers?” You will get the answer from your subconscious mind. “No. This is not the reality.” Remember, every event is a single event. Map is not the territory. Even behaviour of a single person changes with the passage of time. As we know there is an old saying “time and tide changes every moment”.

Similarly, you may believe that all secretaries have affairs with their bosses or seniors. So whichever office you go to, you will assume that there also secretaries and their bosses are having affairs. You will start matching their relationship wherever you go. You will focus on their age, on their looks and so on. You will forget your basic job for which you went there. Your attention will be diverted to some other direction which is, of course, not relevant to you.

Again, many women say, “All men are bastard.” In my seminar, I asked a girl what her idea about her father was. She could not say anything. At this point of time, you ask the little finger of your left hand is it really 100% true, you will get the answer, “No”. In fact, you are making a lie or simply perception to 100% truth. And you will notice that your emotions are not in control.

You suffer from pain, and you make your assumptions in poor state, because of your own belief system. I can bet it never exists in reality. If you make full truth from half truth or no truth, you start believing your doubt and doubting your belief. This kills your way of life and shapes your behaviour that stops you from taking actions. Again, some bosses say that their subordinates never work. They should ask themselves, “Really?” The answer of this question will be “No.” By doing this, they will feel ecstatic. And they will realise that not all subordinates are lazy, rather most of them work hard and are responsible for making them the boss. Most people say that all politicians are useless. Remember this will not allow you to grow and respect your country. I found in India that most people hate politicians but they always talk about politics.

We know about the behaviour of a person in a particular context and we judge him from that instance. Remember, a person’s behaviour is contextual and it changes as the context changes.

Right hand ring finger—Now let us concentrate on the ring finger of the right hand, 100% denied. If anybody denies 100%, then do not ask why, as even a thief or a criminal or any antisocial element has a 100%

valid reason for doing a crime. Even in hypnosis, we never ask the question “Why?” We always ask them what will be the result in case you do not take that action. I ask in my seminars what will happen if you do not love your wife. Of course I get the answer, “If I do not love my wife then somebody else will do so.”

If you make full truth from half truth or no truth, you start believing your doubt and doubting your belief.

In case you are not willing to work, then ask yourself what will be the result if you do not work. The picture of the consequences will force you to work, or the picture of the result will force you to take a decision. Again, needless to say, this will prepare you to face the result.

Right hand middle finger—Now let us move the middle finger of the right hand. Whenever you tell yourself to do something then ask yourself, “When? How? Where?” This will provide you direction, pace, extent, and destination. Brain does not understand unless we make a specific command. Unless it is clear, brain will not consider it. So whenever you feel depressed, ask yourself why you feel depressed. In my seminars, especially in BPOs, I always ask, “How do you get depressed?” The answer I get is, “Pressure”. I simply ask, “Have you seen the life of a student of class 3 or 4? They too have a lot of pressure, such as peer pressure, pressure of the teachers, parents’ expectations, etc. Then they have fear of not performing, fear of rejection from siblings, fear of being insulted in the

society by the teachers, parents, and friends. They have to manage so many things and so many persons at the same time. It is all about how you limit yourself. It is how you create avenues for yourself to be depressed. In BPOs especially, “stressed up” has become a fancy word. People love to be called “stressed up”. Once I was conducting a seminar for Tech Mahindra company and it was a challenge to convince very senior level people that all stress in our lives is the result of our false assumptions. We have developed the culture of stress. In this situation, just ask yourself how you have become stressed up. You will find a particular pattern in your behaviour like shoulder down, eyes down, etc.

Again if you ask yourself that you want to take a new project, then immediately ask, “How? When? Where?” This will provoke you to take massive actions for your project which will enhance your thinking and provide an opportunity to excel. Mere thinking and dreaming cannot shape your destiny and cannot do anything for you. Success is always buried next to frustration. The fire resembles the problem: the problem which might kill persons, the problem which can physically harm. If you want to improve your designation, visualise that you have attained that designation by taking your eye in the right direction.

Right hand index finger—Now concentrate on the index finger and try to understand all generalisations that you make about groups and society.

You should always ask in a specific manner. Never blame the entire group. Choose one which is responsible for that. Whenever any question comes that they do not

All stress in our lives is the result of our false assumptions

understand, then immediately ask, “Who among them?”

If you feel that they are not going to give you a fair chance, then ask yourself who is not going to give you the fair chance. Exactly who the person is, who specifically are

they? Again, if you see that your idea cannot work, then immediately ask which one of your ideas may not work. Again, if you hear that your plans cannot be executed, then ask a simple question, “Which plan is not working?” In my seminars I come across people who say that their family members do not understand them at all. I suggest to them to ask simple questions as to who among their family does not understand them.

The bottom line is that you should not enhance your problem. Look at the problem specifically and stay focused.

Right hand thumb—Now concentrate on the thumb of your right hand and put comparative questions to yourself. Whenever you feel that God has been unkind to you, then put it on right and immediately raise the left thumb and ask with intensity, “In comparison to whom?” Hopefully you will get an answer. In our life, at least once, every individual thinks that God is very much unkind to him or her. Whenever items like too much, too many, or too expensive come, then always ask, in comparison to whom or in comparison to what. You may have heard the story that when somebody was complaining about shoes, he found that the other person did not have legs. By using 

the de-anchoring technique we can delete our false and painful assumptions, we can take some of the following common comparing beliefs which create limitations and constraints. By asking some basic questions we can create empowering belief.

Creating Bluff	Eliminating Bluff
This computer is costly.	In comparison to which
	model
A 10 day holiday is a	In comparison to what
long one.
You are too much.	In comparison to whom
This product is a costly	In comparison to which
product