DECODE THE CODE OF OTHERS

It is an

old saying in India that never think that nobody is listening, even walls have ears.

As Shakespeare said, the world is a stage where everybody has to play his own designated role. Those who concentrate on the present absolutely 100% move to the next level of life.

You have to condition yourself again and again until it becomes a part of your incredible 

My father always used to say that if you pretend what you want to be, then one day you will become that. He used to quote a reference of Valmiki that he never knew how to say Ram–Ram (Oh! God Oh! God) and he used to say just the opposite of it Mara–Mara (death, death). But forget about the word, focus on the optimism.

Valmiki wrote the great epic, Ramayana, which has become the yardstick to judge science, art, and culture. Even contemporary science is not developed as much as what he had envisaged.

Lord Rama is known as the perfect husband, perfect father, perfect king, and perfect in all roles. Of course, here again it is an individual’s attitude which decides whether Lord Rama was prefect or not. Those who are feeling-oriented will say he was auditory so he left his wife. Not only this, a feeling-oriented person will feel according to the context. I am quoting this example because I want to repeat again and again that we have to change ourselves to be with the ones we love. Even the great philosophers

Socrates, Pluto, Aristotle—said that change happens from within. If you want to lead, you have to learn to be a follower. In one of the seminars I said, “if you change your physiology and pretend to be somebody else, then gradually you will go into that representation format.”

Nothing in this nature is constant. Change is the only constant factor in life. If you don’t change you will not exist. The dinosaurs could not survive because they did not change. We all know that dinosaurs were the strongest species. Every individual has its own representation system and if you want to enter his kingdom, then you have to understand his mind frame.

If you want to develop a good rapport with a person, it means you are asking his consent to enter his world. And in his kingdom you cannot enter with your own rules. There you have to follow everything as per his rules. What happens if some guest comes to your house and does everything just opposite of your family rules? How long can you get along with this person? Not for a very long time.

Why are so many divorces taking place today? It is because an individual wants to remain an individual only. It is sad to say that modern society has convinced itself by saying that there must be space for everybody. Therefore, if your wife is visual, you pretend to be visual; if your wife is feeling-oriented, pretend to be feeling-oriented; if your wife is audio-oriented, then you should be audio-oriented.

Never be in audio-mode when somebody is in visual mode. Because it irritates him. One of my friends asked me how his wife looked like. I asked, “If I say she does not look good will you leave her?” My friend was

Change is the only constant factor in life

primarily an audio-oriented person, so he wanted to listen to others about his wife. Many people just ask to listen with no intentions. Yes, sometimes we ask questions which have no

meaning. We should stop asking these kinds of questions. We are governed by internal references, but only with regard to external references. Even in Mahabharata, when Draupadi opens her hair to excite Pandavas to go into war, Lord Krishna says, “Draupadi, if peace happens even at the cost of you leaving your hair open it is a good deal.” He emphasized that for peace any price can be given. At this point Lord Krishna was a governed by feeling mode and external references.

Again, in the battlefield of Kurukshetra, when Arjuna went into feeling mode, at that time Lord Krishna went into visual mode to show how the present and the post war situation looked like. If you watch Mahabharata very carefully, then you will find Lord Krishna has taught one thing, that is, how to use the primary representation of the other person. Yudhishter was a visual person so Lord Krishna was visual with him. Similarly, Arjuna was feeling-oriented so Lord Krishna used feeling mode with him. Lord Krishna knew how to change representation quickly and that was the reason that even his enemies used to trust him as if he would talk for their benefit. He knew that Duryodhan was governed by auditory and external references. Duryodhan was asked by his mother Gandhari to come absolutely nude in front of her so that her gaze could fall on all parts of his body and therebystrengthen him. He obeyed his mother’s command and made his way to his mother’s room. Krishna stopped him. In fact, he used the primary representation and primary behaviour of Duryodhan and said, “Would you go in this way, what will your mother feel when she will see you like this?” Listening to this, Duryodhan could not visualise the impact as he was auditory. Therefore, he covered his private parts with banana leaves and subsequently those parts remained weak after Gandhari cast her eyes on him. This act became the reason of his death.