The
world that we see is exactly not the same as we perceive.
The reality is we frame the world according to our own internal communication.
What kind of frame
you
and I are putting around has the real meaning. If you change the frame of
context, the meaning of experience changes instantly. The quality of life will
depend upon the frame that we put on experience. The process of providing the
frame is known as reframing. Reframing provides shape, size, and impact of
experience. This is the reason as to why the same happening has different
meaning for different individuals. Reframing makes our mind work in the desired
direction. Generally, we have to give direction on two changes. One is
situational change or context change and the other is content change. Through
both the processes, you can resolve your internal conflicts and change your
internal representation and internal communication. One of my friends Naresh
Gupta visited me for giving an invitation card for his daughter’s wedding. He
had one daughter. In conversation, I said that he would feel alone after the
marriage since the daughter will go away. He gave a well-balanced, reframed
answer that was fantastic.
He said “I am getting a son instead of losing
daughter. Now I have both a son and a daughter.” I was really happy listening
to such a great reframed answer.
SITUATIONAL
REFRAMING
Process For Self-Transformation
•
Take the worst happenings of your life, which
you never
desired. Take the ones which had created absolutely the worst impact on your
life.
• Now
think that what benefits are available in case you change the
situation immediately and instantly.
•
A majority of the people complain about the
same problem,
but never take any action to change the situation.
• Now
you decide what kind of impact it will have in your life in terms of your
emotions, on your physical power, and on your relations with whom you are
associated. One thing is clear, if we want to get something, we have to leave
something which has an undesirable impact on the future course of action.
In Saudi Arabia lot of oil wells were found. Of
course, it made the land infertile. But if we change the context, we can see
that it generated a lot of revenue or foreign currency with which Saudi Arabia
could buy loads of grains which cannot be produced over there. Let’s take
another reference—in the cities, cow dung is considered as a waste and, of
course, everyone hates it. But in most parts of India, this is the most sacred
ingredient in religious rituals. Before cooking food, even kitchens, are
cleaned with cow dung.
Belief Pattern
My
father used to say that Morarji Desai, former Prime Minister of India, used to
drink his urine every day in the morning. This may have some scientific reason
behind it, because he lived for 99 years and till the last moment he had no
wrinkles on his face. It is all about belief. Belief is what makes you
resourceful, powerful, and works for you and not against you.
When Edison was failing again and again in the
process of inventing the bulb, he used to do a lot of reframing. In a family,
if someone dies, everyone cries, but the moment we change the situation and
think that the person has gone to heaven and his soul will rest in peace, then
everything changes. A lot of rituals are performed on the fourth day and
thirteenth day for the person who has died and prayers are offered for his soul
to rest in peace. This process conditions the people to believe that their beloved
has gone to heaven.
Content
Reframing
In
a situation, just change the meaning and impact of the happening. Look for
opportunity in the situation, instead of loss. Because of this, the negative
energy will be converted into positive energy. Emotions will go into a positive
frame of mind. If your boss says, “You are an idiot”, then it hurts you.
Immediately change the context and think that your boss said it out of love. You
know it very well how we feel when our sweetheart calls us an idiot. Life is
all about reframing. There was a drunkard,
whose
girlfriend asked, “Why did you drink yesterday?” He replied, “There are only
two reasons to drink. Either you are happy or sad. He said he had both the
reasons. Happy because he had met his sweetheart and sad because why did he not
meet her till then.” But in the army, when a commander commands, then he does
not say move back, rather he says that let us attack the opposite side.
1.
“My boss knows nothing—I can do better
and can be the boss very soon.” Otherwise, you can always cry that boss is not
good. When Rockefeller asked for a hike in his salary, his boss refused. He
reframed this situation, “If I can work for him to make him a boss, why can’t I
work for myself
We have to change the way we see the world, listen
to the world, and feel the world. And because of this, our representational
system is changed and of course subsequently our internal communication is also
changed and at the same time our behaviour is totally changed. You can change
any experience. You can change any happening. You can change any behaviour, you
can control your own brain. You can produce the desired results. Now please
reframe the following experiences:
1.
“My boss knows nothing—I can do better
and can be the boss very soon.” Otherwise, you can always cry that boss is not
good. When Rockefeller asked for a hike in his salary, his boss refused. He
reframed this situation, “If I can work for him to make him a boss, why can’t I
work for myself
By doing this, you can
come to a conclusion about what should you do. You will take up the project
with interest rather than frustration. You will neither spoil your personal
life nor professional. You can
apply
this to any situation. Suppose you are not able to communicate with somebody
who is very senior to you. Or you don’t talk to any girl on the pretext that
they are arrogant or probably they may refuse you. That feeling of rejection is
always there. With reframing you can eliminate all your fears.
If your boss becomes unreasonable for a task given
to you, instead of cursing him, follow the following steps:
Transform Your Thought Process
• Take
the image of your boss and put it on your dining table.
• Assume
that he is saying something about your upliftment, listen to
his sound, the sound which you liked that time.
•
Generate
a warm and soft feeling for him.
• Hear
him saying that he badly needs your help for the execution of a
project.
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