Get Rid of Your Phobias

Techniques to Eliminate Phobias

1.     Develop the alternative demand-oriented Perspective

We should always take that word which has a meaning for the buyer. Instead of knowing the product, we should know the value and vision of the product. Eastman Kodak always says, “We preserve beautiful memories.” Revlon is a cosmetics manufacturing company, but they reframe “We are Hope in a Drug Store”.

2-Know exactly what you want  While reframing, we should be very specific. What is our deepest desire and why we must do it? According to our While reframing, we should be very specific. What is our vision, we go ahead for context reframing. But, destination will reframing. But, destination will only make pathways. In ancient history, the son of a king called iddhartha visualised his vision above death and sufferings from illness. Then he got the power to leave his kingdom and subsequently he became the great sage Gautama Buddha. He touched and moved the life of thousands of people in India, China, Burma, Sri Lanka, Tibet, etc. He reframed that the secret of a happy life is not expecting anything from anyone.

3-What pattern you need to change

Focus on the pattern needs to be left and now create an empowering belief to enjoy the changing pattern. This cannot be achieved by one time thought, rather you have to practise it again and again.

4-Condition yourself

To reap the benefits, you and I have to practise it again and again. Then only it will be conditioned. Brain never understands any command unless it is experienced. In my firewalk, I always invest time to condition my participants. Once the masses are conditioned, brain takes action. I told them that the firewalk is a metaphor to their changed physiology. It breaks mental impossibility and will make you experience the fear. The only way to overcome fear
is to experience it. That is exactly what firewalk does. Firewalk conditions the state and behaviour which subsequently produces results inspite of terrible fear. You should challenge fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of losing positions, fear of not being loved enough, etc. You should break the self-limiting belief. I believe that you can be anything what you wish, such as a businessman, millionaire, etc. Overcome any kind of unrealistic relationship, which has got no existence today such as a broken relationship. We all had some of our unpleasant experiences in the past and the impact of that past limits us from living a great and playful life. I condition through firewalk to change the internal representation about any event through internal ommunication. We all know that even in Mahabharata, Lord Krishna had asked Yudhishtra to reframe the situation of killing Ashwathama, the elephant, for getting an opportunity to kill the great Dronacharya.

Content Reframing

  Content Reframing

In a situation, just change the meaning and impact of the happening. Look for opportunity in the situation, instead of loss. Because of this, the negative energy will
be converted into positive energy. Emotions will go into a positive frame of mind. If your boss says, “You are an idiot”, then it hurts you. Immediately change the context and think that your boss said it out of love. You know it very well how we feel when our sweetheart calls us an idiot. Life is all about reframing. There was a drunkard, whose girlfriend asked, “Why did you drink yesterday?” He replied, “There are only two reasons to drink. Either you are happy or sad. He said he had both the reasons. Happy because he had met his sweetheart and sad because why did he not meet her till then.” But in the army, when commander commands, then he does not say move back, rather he says that let us attack the opposite side.

We have to change the way we see the world, listen to the world, and feel the world. And because of this, our representational system is changed and of course subsequently our internal communication is also changed and at the same time our behaviour is totally changed. You can change any experience. You can change any happening. You can change any behaviour, you can control your own brain. You can produce the desired
results. Now please reframe the following experiences:

1-“My boss knows nothing—I can do better and can be the boss very soon.” Otherwise, you can always cry that boss is not good. When Rockefeller asked for a hike in his salary, his boss refused. He reframed this situation, “If I can work for him to make him a boss, why can’t I work for myself to be the boss.” He left the job and became a businessman. Many people complain about the company they work for and their boss but still continue working there.

2- Unfortunately, tax liability has become huge.Reframe this as: You have such a great income that you have a higher tax liability.

3- You have no money to live lavishly. Reframe this as: You have every reason to work and nothing to lose. Let’s refer to a simple point—a gentleman went to a priest and said that he had a problem. The priest said, “Give me 51,000 rupees and I will pray for you and perform a ritual.” The gentleman said he had no money. Then the priest asked, “Give me 11,000 rupees” Again he refused. Then the priest asked for 51 Rupees. Again he refused. Finally, the priest said “What are you worried for? God cannot destroy anything of yours. You have got nothing to lose. “ Reframing is the way to put meaning to events. It is the most effective communication technique, tool, and philosophy. We can create a highway or we can create a blockage. It all depends on the way we reframe things. All successful people, like politicians, businessmen, teachers, lawyers, chartered accountants, cost accountants, etc. are big reframers. Generally somebody does reframing for us and then we follow the path and cry. The entire media, advertising, and the PR industry does nothing but reframe all the happenings. eframing changes everything from its own paradigm. Laloo Yadav, Manmohan Singh, L. K.
Advani, etc. all reframed political slogans such as “India Shining”.By doing this, you can come to a conclusion about what should you do. You will take up the project with interest rather than frustration. You will neither spoil your personal life nor professional. You can apply this to any situation. Suppose you are not able to communicate with somebody who is very senior to you. Or you don’t talk to any girl on the pretext that they are arrogant or probably they may refuse you. That feeling of rejection is always there. With reframing you can eliminate all your fears. If your boss becomes unreasonable for a task given to you, instead of cursing him,

Belief Pattern

             Belief Pattern

peace, then everything changes. A lot of rituals are performed on the fourth day and thirteenth My father used to say that Morarji Desai, former Prime Minister of India, used to drink his urine every day in the morning. This may have some scientific reason behind it, because he lived for 99 years and till the last moment he had no wrinkles on his face. It is all about belief. Belief is what makes you resourceful, powerful, and works for you and not against you.

When Edison was failing again and again in the process of inventing the bulb, he used to do a lot of reframing. In a family, if someone dies, everyone cries, but the moment we change the situation and think that the person has gone to heaven and his soul will rest in day for the person who has died and prayers are offered for his soul to rest in peace. This process conditions the people to believe that their beloved has gone to heaven.

SITUATIONAL REFRAMING

SITUATIONAL REFRAMING

In Saudi Arabia lot of oil wells were found. Of course, it made the land infertile. But if we change the context, we can see that it generated a lot of revenue or foreign currency with which Saudi Arabia could buy loads of grains which cannot be produced over there. Let’s take another reference—in the cities, cow dung is considered as a waste and, of course, everyone hates it. But in most parts of India, this is the most sacred ingredient in  religious rituals. Before cooking food, even kitchens, are cleaned with cow dung.

REFRAMING

REFRAMING

 

Changing the Context

If you don’t like the way the world is, you change it.   You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time.

Marian Wright Edelman

                                              

 He world that we see is exactly not the same as we perceive. The reality is we frame the world according to our own internal communication. What kind of frame you and I are putting around has the real meaning. If you change the frame of context, the meaning of experience changes instantly. The quality of life will depend upon the frame that we put on experience. The process of providing the frame is known as reframing. Reframing provides 

shape, size, and impact of experience. This is the reason as to why the same happening has different meaning for different individuals. Reframing makes our mind work in the desired direction. Generally, we have to give direction on two changes. One is situational change or context change and the other is content change. Through both the processes, you can resolve your internal conflicts and change your internal representation and internal
communication. One of my friends Naresh Gupta visited me for giving an invitation card for his daughter’s wedding. He had one daughter. In conversation, I said that he would feel alone after the marriage since the daughter will go away. He gave a well-balanced, reframed answer that was fantastic. He said “I am getting a son instead of losing daughter. Now I have both a son and a daughter.” I was really happy listening to such a great reframed answer.

The brain does not understand

The  brain  does  not understand

The  brain  does  not understand the difference between reality and imagination. You just imagine consistently that it will happen. If a wife doubts her husband and always imagines him with somebody else, then there is a possibility that after some time this might become reality because she had asked the cosmos for the same thing. So it all depends upon how you demand your command. Similarly, if you have a particular taste before you actually eat the thing with that taste, you start experiencing it. Once I had a presentation in Kolkata. I had taken my family along. Since I was brought up in Kolkata, I distinctly remembered a particular taste of Jaiswal puri. As soon as I landed at the airport, I took my family to the restaurant where I used to go 10 years earlier. I started matching the old taste of the puri with the present. Again, in the same trip, I had used my technique to see the pictures.

Once when I was leaving for Kolkata, Shri Amrendra Mahapatra, Director of MMTC had said, “You are young, the country needs you.” He advised me to go and give presentation to his managers. His statement was there in my mind. When I went to give the presentation there, I saw that I had
a competitor from a big, giant training company. I used my visualisation process for my presentation. How was my presentation? Just after four days, I got a call from the Director Personnel, D. Satpati, asking me to come and fix a date for giving the training at Hindustan Copper. Visualisation process is nothing but a technique to use the brain systematically. We have heard people say,
“Think positive, think positive”, but the biggest question is “How?” In my seminars my entire focus is on “how”. Our destination is always governed by the process through which we use our brain. In late 1970s, Narayana Murthy was leading a division for Patni Computers in Bombay. In 1981, one of the brothers of Patni treated Mr Narayana Murthy roughly. Narayana Murthy decided to leave Patni Computers. When he left, six other members of the company also left. Out of them, one gentleman was Mr Arora. For Mr Murthy, respect, value, process was more important The six of them formed a company by the name of Infosys. The company did not do well till the liberalisation of business in India. Mr Arora took the other side of the picture. His acuity was used in the other direction and it is needless to say that he missed the boat.

Hence we have to know how to use our own brain
in our own way, as we know that if we do not control
it ourselves, then somebody else will come forward to
control it. If you and I do not take control of our own
reins then they will be taken up by somebody else. Those
who have gone up to the top have taken control of their
lives after having faced all kinds of challenges.

Reprogramming the Brain

                                   Reprogramming the Brain  

The use of brain entirely depends upon an individual. If you change the picture, if you change the sound, if you change the feeling, then the meaning and context of an
event will be changed. Now the question is, can we reprogramme our brain? Yes, we can. We can, by disturbing the current patterns and subsequently replacing the old pattern with the new one. The brain does not understand the difference between the reality and imagination. A person who masturbates experiences the same physiological changes as what is experienced in an actual sexual intercourse. In one of my seminars, one gentleman came into my hotel room. It was 12 o’clock in the night. He said, “Please save me. I enjoy masturbation more than the real intercourse.” Look, imagined reality is more powerful than reality itself. It is all about how we use our brain.

In case anybody does this in an intense state, then the imagined behaviour will replace the real behaviour. Remember, if you tell your child that he is doing well in
his studies, the child starts doing well and if you keep
encouraging your child like this consistently, then he
starts doing extremely well in his studies. In case parents
start telling the child that he is not doing well repeatedly
so as to scare the child, then in reality the parents do
not notice but the child starts imagining that he is not
doing well and hence imagination replaces the reality. Let
me give you and example. Once I finished my firewalk
seminar at 12 o’clock in the night. When I entered my
hotel suite in resort Chokhi Dhani at Jaipur, I saw a
participant waiting for me. She was crying. I asked her
the reason for crying. She explained, “Everything is all
right, but I cannot have sex with my husband.” They
had been married for a year. They tried having sex many
times but they could not do it. I suddenly recalled the
case study of Milton Ericsson, in which the female was
scared of sex. The reason of the fear was that when she
was eight year old, somebody from the family had raped
her. That pain was anchored in her mind, body, and soul.
Subsequently, she developed a phobia. That phobia was
creating problem in imagination and that imagination
had become reality. My counselling worked like magic
on her. Remember, past is not the same as the future.
That participant was imagining pain. If you do anything
consistently, even in imagination, then it starts looking as
reality. It is all in the mind. Mind always gives you what
you dream of. In order to activate your mind, choose
affirmative words.